Psychological Realism

Let's see: it's 9:11, so we must have left home at 9:05 and that will mean we'll get to Books & Muffins [Barnes & Noble] at about 9:45. We can go have our muffins in the cafe first and I can feed Gillian the banana-raspberry oatmeal baby food since she didn't eat much breakfast at home and hopefully that one will taste okay if she eats it at room temperature. Wow, why are they doing construction on Beau? I totally should have taken Wade--

AC: "Mommy, you are Cat in Hat. I'm Sally. This [pointing at Gillian] is Nick."

Me: "Okay, hi Sally! I'm the Cat in the Hat, and we're going to do some fun things today."

When I go to Clare's wedding and Sam takes Munchkin to Ohio by himself, I think I'm going to take the diaper bag since Gillian needs more stuff than Allison Clare right now. I can pack a smaller one for them, like that free one that we've never used. Should I pack a little bag for him and AC with her snacks before I leave? It would be really good if I could put some peeled clementines in it since she's so into those right now but would he remember to get them from the fridge? If I wrote a list of things, would he read it? I can kind of picture him ignoring it and going rogue and then encountering all kinds of inconvenience on the road from not having refilled the wipes container or whatever. Should I try to persuade him to read a list or let experience be his teacher?--

AC: "Do you have [something unintelligible], Mommy?"

Me: "What's that, Allison Clare?"

AC: "Mommy, do you have [SOMETHING UNINTELLIGIBLE, MORE LOUDLY]?"

Me: "I'm sorry, I can't hear you--what did you say?"

AC: "STRIPES, MOMMY, DO YOU HAVE STRIPES?"

Me: "Oh, yes, I have stripes. I have a striped hat."

Maybe I'll start packing this weekend because we have to get up at 3 a.m. on Friday for the flight and Thursday night I have to go to that talk on Steinbeck. It really is a bummer that I didn't know the guy was coming and assigned East of Eden instead of Travels with Charley. But then, they did so well in class on Thursday that it was probably worth it. Why is my Austrian student leaving all the native-born Americans in the dust? I was probably oversharing in class when I admitted while we were talking about the bug that is going around that I had coughed so hard in Max & Erma's that I threw up into my plate. What was I thinking? What's wrong with Gillian?

Me: "Gilly, honey, it's okay."

Maybe I should wear the red dress for the rehearsal dinner. Too tarty? With the shawl it's my best bet for the Mexican theme. But for sure the baby carrier will not coordinate. I have to wear shoes that I can take off in the security line. I should wear socks. I think I can reach Gillian's sunshade in case the light is getting into her eyes. That's better. Or maybe not.

AC: "What's wrong with Nick?"

Me: "Gillian, sweetie, we're almost there."

AC: "No, that's Nick. THAT'S NICK, MOMMY."

Me: "It's okay, Nick."

I think I should have done more with popular and scholarly sources in comp before this point. Oh well. I wonder how many of my Legal Fictions students know the word ordure and will therefore understand the last two parts of Time's Arrow. It was shocking that none of them knew what a chamber pot was. When did I learn what a chamber pot was? It's a lot like AC's potty actually. When did I learn what ordure is? I wonder if ordure and manure end with the same three letters for a reason. If so, it's weird that manure means from animals and ordure means from people since manure starts with man. Or maybe manure can be human too. Tenure? Poor Gillian, I hope she doesn't fall asleep in the car right before we get there.

Me: "Gillian, just a few more minutes, baby."

AC: "Nick is sad because she wants the Cat in Hat."

Here we are! Unload--stroller first, diaper bag attached, wallet, keys and phone out, Gillian in stroller--

AC: "I want to ride in the stroller."

Me: "Don't you want to walk and hold my hand?"

AC: "No, I want to ride in the stroller. And I need to to take my monkey."

Okay, so . . . sweater off. Ergo carrier on. Gillian in the Ergo, sweater back on, AC in the stroller. Away we go!