Gratitude

I was changing Gillian tonight--her roly-poly little body so warm and soft in her purple fleece pajamas with little owl faces on the soles of the feet, and her little gummy grins--and I was thinking about how she's becoming more interactive now. She is heartbreakingly sweet, sometimes seeming almost sad, kind of reserved in her personality, but then breaking forth with these joyous smiles when you smile at her. And I was thinking about how much I love those smiles, and the ways Allison Clare too expresses her happiness . . . today AC wanted to wear her monkey costume when she got up from her nap, and when I put it on her, she hugged herself and said, "Monkey coat on!" Then she ran out of her room but stopped and turned around toward me, her tail swinging around behind her, and called back with a big smile, "Fank you, Mommy."

As I remembered those "fanks" and reflected on Gillian's smiles, I thought that I finally understood a little of why maybe God really wants our praise. I've heard skeptics say that only an arrogant God would demand so much praise, and I've myself thought that maybe God wants our praise because it is his due, so it's kind of like our living in accord with justice to give him the praise he deserves . . . as if praise and thanks were desirable primarily as acts of obedience and respect. But I don't want Allison Clare's thanks or Gillian's smiles primarily because they buck up my ego or because I want them to be grateful children, even though both of those things are probably part of it. Mostly, I love those things because it just makes me so incredibly happy that those little girls are happy, and because I'm overwhelmed with pleasure and gratitude of my own that they relate their happiness to me (I feel like, "Really?!?!!" So excited!). It strikes me that maybe it's less about God's seeking acknowledgement of his position, and more about His sheer pleasure in us, that he loves us so much that he wants us to love him because he enjoys it. I know, probably a "duh" point to those who have a better sense of God's heart than I do . . . but it was my lesson from parenting for the day. :)