Possibly Irritable, but Not Incompetent

I don't generally like to call doctors' offices and ask questions; I hate feeling like an anxious, hysterical patient. But yesterday I called my OB's office (very calmly) because I've been having some contractions for about a week and a half, and they had gotten fairly constant and strong. I probably would have just assumed they were Braxton Hicks contractions except that last time, I was making that assumption a few hours before AC was born. So, since we didn't want to be taken by surprise by a little preemie arriving 7 weeks early (how un-Fee-like of her!), I figured it would be better to be safe than sorry.

Anyway, I talked to the call nurse about the contractions, and it was marginally helpful (Dr. B. was much more precise and helpful later--it's nice to have a friend who is married to someone in such a useful profession). But one of the things the nurse told me was that if I was a bit dehydrated, my "uterus could get a little irritable" and contract. For some reason, this completely cracks me up. I just picture my uterus getting really hissy and annoyed, and deciding she is fed up and taking matters into her own hands with regard to this houseguest ("You expect me to keep her here for nine months and you don't even give me anything to drink! Well, I've had it!"), until I do something to placate her, like lying down, resting, and getting her some tea.

It made me think about the language applied to these things--I've also heard of a problem called an "incompetent cervix," where the cervix can't hold the baby inside. It struck me as funny that one's reproductive organs could be called "irritable" and "incompetent," as if they were unhelpful retail clerks being judged by an exasperated clientele. I don't know if there is really a counterpart in terms of masculine physiology, except for "impotent," which strikes me as also gendered. I guess we expect men's organs to be powerful, and women's to do their jobs and be nice while at it.