Munch(kin)hausen by Proxy

I know it's kind of weird, especially since we were blindsided by bad news at our first well-child appointment, but I love going to the pediatrician.  I look forward to Allison Clare's pediatrician's appointments for days in advance.  I choose an outfit with the seriousness of a girl before her first date, ensure that it is freshly laundered, and make sure AC has a bath the day before.  The outfit business is especially ridiculous because the first thing they do when showing us to the exam room is tell me to take off her clothes, even before the doctor comes in.  But even knowing this ahead of time, I just make sure to put her in a cute diaper too.

It's partly because I have a little crush on our pediatrician--not a romantic crush obviously as I am happily married and straight, but something more akin to a celebrity crush, where I think, oh, she's so cool, we could totally be friends.  But it's also because the appointments provide official verification of Allison Clare's health and wellbeing, and embarrassingly enough, I have always thrived on the approval communicated in good grades.  I have to admit it: I love when they weigh and compliment Allison Clare.  That her weight is absolutely unremarkable and that their compliments are, I'm sure, quite perfunctory does not diminish my relish of it all in the least.  In fact, our last appointment was during a class of Sam's where his students were giving presentations, and he reminded me of his schedule so that I wouldn't call him breathlessly to relate every detail of the appointment as soon as we left the office.  

And most of all, there is always the thrilling chance that the doctor will tell us something new, or offer some expert interpretation that will decode Allison Clare's behaviors and development, with which I'm of course fascinated.  It's odd to think that she will talk some day and express those things that she surely already feels; her facial expressions are even now so varied and nuanced.  I can't wait to hear her tell us what she is thinking.  Probably that she wants me to stop embarrassing her at her doctor's appointments.