Joy of Church Fellowship, Rightly Attended*

*apologies to Edward Taylor

When I was growing up, we went to church most Sundays, unless there was a reason (some other activity, or a busy weekend). And we didn't go during the summer, I guess because the other six days were pretty demanding on the blueberry farm.  But as an adult, once I found churches that I really loved, I never wanted to miss the service.  The experience of worship was joyful and meaningful, or healing and strengthening--and it was also one of my favorite social hours, when I'd get to see my really good friends, catch up, etc.  

Since we've had Allison Clare, our church attendance has been the lowest in my life since the old blueberry-picking days.  She cries loudly enough in the nursery that the trained ear can hear her in the service, so we had been keeping her with us until she recently developed a new habit of shrieking randomly, whether out of joy, pain, existential angst, or some eureka moment known only to herself.  We take turns walking her, out in the lobby where she's quieter and we can still hear the sermon, but it does take away from the whole experience in that one feels like a spectator--barely.  And I've always felt that what's important about the sermon is not the information presented (after 34 years in church, it's rarely something completely novel), but rather the way the speaker makes that information salient, and the way that I can give myself over to absorbing its truths into my life.  That's hard to do while shushing a squirmy baby in the lobby.

Further complicating matters, Allison Clare naps at 10 every morning for about an hour and ten minutes and the service is exactly then.  She can be coaxed to drop off for a few minutes in the service, but there's always occasional applause as announcements are made, songs or video, etc., that wakes her up within a few minutes. I really don't like making her skip naps because I've become persuaded that they are a biological need (in the same way that I wouldn't make her skip a meal). This morning, she woke up early and was very tired as I was getting ready for church, and I ended up deciding not to go because I wanted her to have a good nap. She slept for over two hours, and I have to admit, I was glad that I let her sleep, even though I was sorry to miss church.

So, the long and short of it is that I'm really not sure what to do.  It's not just a practical question, but a spiritual one too.  I feel that having Allison Clare, it's all the more urgent that my life be centered around the worship of Christ, and that I be attuned to how he might be leading me, because I have a little one to lead in turn (it was equally important before I think, but I feel that spiritual responsibility very strongly now, which I think is a good thing).  I'm okay with sitting out of more church services than I'm used to if I should in order to take good care of my baby, but I also don't want to be unwise about it . . . I do believe that our closeness with God is always either waxing or waning, and while that doesn't mean it always looks the same, it does mean, to me, that we should safeguard it with a bit of fear and trembling . . . because it's precious.  

I'd be interested in hearing from any of you out there on this, especially (but not exclusively, since a broader perspective can help too) those who have had little ones in church.  Thanks!