They Call It Loss Because You Have to Grieve It . . . Right?

Okay, so this is totally embarrassing, but what else are blogs for if not gratuitous revelations?

My general bliss has been threatened the past couple of days by seeing some video Sam and I took in May of 2007 when we were working on the house, and realizing that I have definitely lost a TON of hair. 

I started losing gobs of hair when I was in college, but I had so much that it really didn't show much for several years.  Then I went to a dermatologist in grad school, who had nothing very interesting to tell me except to try minoxidil, which I did, skeptically but regularly.  I didn't want to use it while pregnant or nursing, so I stopped when I found out I was pregnant, but the state of pregnancy itself kept me from losing much of any hair for a while.  In fact, it wasn't until around four months afterward that I really started losing hair. 

And then, man, did I lose it--both the pregnancy hair and, presumably, my several years' worth of ill-gotten pharmaceutically enhanced hair (if you don't keep using it, you lose all the hair you've gained or maintained while on it).  I lost handful after handful after handful, big clumps, while taking a shower at night or combing it in the morning.  The bathroom floor seriously looked like someone had just had a haircut when I was done brushing it.  At one point, for the sheer freak-show value of it, I took a digital pic while on the phone with JS and emailed it to her, finding some kind of morbid gratification when she gasped. 

So, by now, the hair loss has slowed if only because there's not so much left.  When I look at the pictures, it's a shockingly noticeable difference--my hair gave the impression of being thick before, and it's now quite thinnish, plus receded.  And there's a strange, rather wide fringe around my hairline of short hairs that haven't quite given up the ghost but can't quite manage to grow out anymore, so I imagine the worst is yet to come.  It's ridiculous how dismayed I am--it really says something about my character that this is what evokes feelings of solemnity and moroseness.  Alas.