Week 1

Thanks, everybody, for sharing our joy! Sorry it's been a while: Allison's first week has been rather more eventful than we had expected. She had severe jaundice and ended up being hospitalized all this week (Monday through Friday). She's fine now, but it was harrowing from our anxious, sleep-deprived, hormonally chaotic new-parent perspective.



It's normal for most babies to have a mild case of jaundice (the buildup of extra bilirubin)--they're born with extra red blood cells that they no longer need after birth, and the breakdown of those cells produces bilirubin as a byproduct. But our baby is, as Frank would say, an overachiever. Her bilirubin level was three times what we had been told was acceptable, putting her at a risk, however remote, of brain damage--scary words for us to hear, along with others that followed, like "lumbar puncture showed elevated white blood cell count" and "rule out the possibilty of bacterial meningitis." But thankfully, the wonderful doctors and nurses at St. Clair Hospital treated her immediately, intensively, thoroughly, and incredibly kindly; we have every reason to believe that she's escaped any longterm consequences; and all her other tests ultimately came back negative. So we got to have our second little coming-home-from-the-hospital party today.



She looks like her beautiful self again--all rosy and pink. Her personality has also changed quite a bit since she was sick those first couple of days at home, though we didn't realize it, and was also feeding poorly. She was a creature of repose and serenity during the daytime, but at night she was by turns restless, furious (screaming herself purple and waving a fist in the air like some out-of-control military dictator), pathetic (clutching desperately at your chest as if in the worst pain imaginable), and cunning (looking at you out of one sly eye, as if to gauge whether you’re worth opening the other for as well). We'd spent her first night at home on Saturday bemused by our complete infatuation, but horrified by the discovery that our baby only slept when held. It turns out that it was probably irritability caused by her jaundice and feeding issues; she's a whole new baby now, eating well (her genetic heritage), sleeping contentedly, and interacting sweetly and playfully.



So all's well that ends well. The worst of it was Monday, when we first arrived at the hospital and all the scary outcomes were still on the table. I had a teary moment after Sam and my parents left (mothers of newborns get to stay at the hospital with them to nurse), but I talked to the Reverend Doctor, the beloved friend who performed our marriage ceremony, and somehow, she righted my sails a little. She didn’t just tell me that everything would be fine (because who can know? And I’ve had people tell me that before and be tragically wrong). She reminded me through her grace and the assurance of her faith, without even saying so in words, that even if it wasn’t “fine,” even if our worst fears came true, Allison is watched over and loved by a God to whom she belongs—even more than she is loved by and belongs to Sam and me.

A good lesson to take to heart at the start of her life . . .