Just Friends

I had to quit my last post because Julie and I were headed out the door. But I was going to comment on a recent study: apparently, a growing number of Americans say that they have very few confidantes, or none at all—some people have only their spouses to share their deepest wishes and fears with; others, married or not, have nobody. Apart from their spouses, people have fewer friends.

Of course, it’s good that people are friends with their spouses, and that those relationships have attained primacy. But it’s sad that people don’t have other friends too, or have fewer than they used to. For one thing, I wonder if it puts a lot of strain on marriages, if the marriage is expected to sustain all of the real social and emotional needs of two people, without the support of friends. It seems unrealistic to expect that one person could supply everything another person could need—and it also seems somewhat dangerous for a couple to be isolated from others who may be wiser, more patient, more compassionate. Who would want to miss out on that?