Favorite Things Students Have Said/Written/Had Their Parents Leave on My Answering Machine
From a job letter: "I am an excellent communicator. I know that in sales you have to express yourself in writing and vocally, which I do. . . . . Also, in my courses, I have learned to interrupt data and charts. In fact, I have focused a lot on interruptions." [I just love how that paragraph starts with "I am an excellent communicator"!]
About a business writing course: "This course does not appear to be about business at all. It is mainly about editing and revising." [Which leaves us with what? Business freewriting?]
Same business writing course: "Isn't writing supposed to be about self-expression?" [Not in business, baby.]
From a student evaluating her college experience (Suspiciously): "I've noticed a mix of memorization of facts and encouragement to develop my own ideas." [Sorry about that. Our mistake.]
Regarding an absence: "I had maybe too much to drink and then fell asleep. The only documentation I can offer you as to my absence on the day of my presentation would be my vomit-stained bedsheets, and that would be inappropriate." [Enough said. Really.]
. . . And my all-time favorite, from the parents of a fledgling plagiarist: "What you don't know, that you need to know, is that when he was 9, he had cancer and had to have part of his leg removed." [As my friend Andy said, "the part of his leg that controls plagiarism?"]
About a business writing course: "This course does not appear to be about business at all. It is mainly about editing and revising." [Which leaves us with what? Business freewriting?]
Same business writing course: "Isn't writing supposed to be about self-expression?" [Not in business, baby.]
From a student evaluating her college experience (Suspiciously): "I've noticed a mix of memorization of facts and encouragement to develop my own ideas." [Sorry about that. Our mistake.]
Regarding an absence: "I had maybe too much to drink and then fell asleep. The only documentation I can offer you as to my absence on the day of my presentation would be my vomit-stained bedsheets, and that would be inappropriate." [Enough said. Really.]
. . . And my all-time favorite, from the parents of a fledgling plagiarist: "What you don't know, that you need to know, is that when he was 9, he had cancer and had to have part of his leg removed." [As my friend Andy said, "the part of his leg that controls plagiarism?"]
posted by Tara | 11:13 AM
1 Comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I love how the drinking too much and falling asleep is offered by way of excuse. As if, 'Oh, well if you DRANK TOO MUCH... and THAT'S why you didn't give your presentation... Well, that's fine! If you'd just blown us off, then we would've held you accountable. But since it's simply that you don't know when to say when, or when you might have something important to do the next day... All is well.'
Sheesh.
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